DAN BERN
"FIFTY EGGS"
WORK RECORDS

Fifty eggs? Nobody can eat fifty eggs. Well except maybe some old fart race car driver wannabee down in Westport. Other than that I can’t think of anybody else. After one of my long morning runs I can usually eat six, and that’s with cheese, toast, and fruit too. But six is my max. What does this have to do with Dan Bern’s new CD you ask? Nothing really.

Someone referred to Dan Bern as the Bob Dylan of the skateboard generation. I like that, it makes sense. I got this disc in the mail on April 8th. It was the day before the first round of the Masters. What does this have to do with anything you ask? Well the disc does begin with a song called "Tiger Woods." After watching the Masters that weekend I was wondering if Dan Bern wishes he could change the name of the song to "Mark O’Meara." But I guess when you think about it "Tiger Woods" probably has a little more charisma to it.

There’s a touching song on the disc called "Oh Sister." Bob Dylan sang a song called "Oh Sister" too. However Dan Bern’s version is really about his sister whereas Bob Dylan’s version was about Joan Baez. And this gives me a lame segue into another Bern song called "Chick Singers." There are about eighteen chick singers that Bern mentions in this humorous song. Joan Baez however is not one of them.

Bern has his own theory of evolution on a song called "No Missing Link." His theory is something along the lines of E. T. mating with Cheetah. He doesn’t quite say it like that though. Trust me when I tell you that you’ll want to turn this one down when grandma’s in the room! "Different Worlds" is perhaps the most interesting song on the disc. It’s a comparison between blacks and whites that’s smartly written and thought provoking without being offensive to anyone. Dan Bern can be offensive when he wants to, just not in this song.

There’s a sad little song called "Monica" written about the tennis player Monica Seles. Bern remembers her being so alive and full of laughter. That of course was before some sicko stabbed her in the back. She’s never really been the same since. It would be nice to see her come back and kick Martina Hingis’ ass but that’s probably wishful thinking.

There are twelve songs listed on the disc with the lyrics

printed inside. Oddly though, after the 12th cut there’s a thirty second delay before one final song. There’s no mention of this song anywhere. I think the name of the song is "Suzanne." I’m not sure if she’s a tennis player or a chick singer. Maybe she’s the missing link, who knows. Despite the Dylan comparisons I think if you’re into say Warren Zevon you’ll really like Dan Bern.

- Bill Harriman
**** stars